2020 definitely felt like the end of the world. The pandemic, bushfires, earthquakes, floods, airplane crashes, the killing of George Floyd, the death of Kobe Bryant… The list goes on. However, as the famous saying goes, the darkest hour is just before dawn. Or another one – the hard times are the blessings in disguise. So, let this difficult time be a breaking point in our lives to stop and confront our biggest lies to ourselves, finally. Make the ending of 2020 with the end of denial. These are things you must stop denying.
Denial of climate change
If you still doubt our climate’s apparent alteration, I am sorry to break this to you – it’s just you, trying to excuse yourself from the vain consumption-based life you are living.
Think of all the things you own. All of them. Yes, you cannot even count how many pairs of underwear you own. And if you check their label, it’s 99% that they are made somewhere in Asia. And believe me; usually, this implies not the highest social or environmental sustainability standards.
Think of the way you travel. Not only abroad, but also in your city. I bet you’re not using your bicycle all year round to get from point A to B.
How about your nutrition? Are you cooking healthy meals at home every day, using all the leftovers, not throwing a piece out in the trash? Yup, me neither. Guilty.
Now, just so you know, this is all connected to the things you see happening outside: the folks having zero snow in winter, where it used to be plenty (and those who hadn’t any, now randomly getting some). The ice melting in the North pole – I know you don’t see that across the street, but there are pictures on the Internet you can check. And if you say – “What’s all the fuss about?”, well, I could ask you a question in return – “Would you give up your air conditioner in the hot summer”? No, you wouldn’t. Do you want to get rid of the air conditioner of the whole planet? Same. And yet, it’s vanishing at an enormous speed.
If you want to thrill yourself some more – read about climate change evidence that NASA has prepared.
“Would you give up your air conditioner in the hot summer”? No, you wouldn’t.
There’s no easy way out of this convenient (and capitalism based) lifestyle we have. Yet, what least you can do is stop denying yourself that it’s not you who is responsible for all this mess. It’s the other people, the government, or the business. It’s every one of us. So, the simple step of facing the truth may be the groundwork for your future climate-friendly decisions in life.
Denial of a toxic relationship
Years have gone by, you with your partner got used to each other so much that it feels weird even thinking about living separately. Though, after you quit your job to become a food blogger, both of you kind of started growing apart. Also, there’s zero support coming from your significant other as she or he thinks it’s a bad idea.
Or maybe you’re the one with the more down-to-earth perception of life, not letting your partner live up to her or his dream.
There might be a clash of the most important values you two have, but you ignore it because he’s such a good cook or she’s smart and pretty, and you think it’s a rare combination.
If you are in a long-term relationship, and you catch yourself feeling trapped, unvalued, or even abused in some way frequently, it might not only be your overthinking skills showing up. You might want to seriously address what’s bothering you and stop denying that your relationship might have some serious cracks.
You might want to seriously address what’s bothering you and stop denying that your relationship might have some serious cracks.
Denial of your true self
Wearing a formal suit every day and going to your office daydreaming about becoming a winemaker is a total cliché example of living the wrong kind of life. However, even though your situation might not be that black and white, you still may be living in a lie.
If your job doesn’t require a fancy dress code, and all your colleagues look super laid-back, chill, and trendy, that doesn’t mean you belong there. You might go to the office every day feeling like this is a punishment for your previous life mistakes, or your morals do not meet your company’s mission, and it makes you feel like a hypocrite.
Maybe you find yourself changing the workplace every year for the same reasons – there’s no freedom in my work, or I do not fit in.
Here’s a reminder for you – the time we have is limited, so you may want to start living your most true life right now. Stop denying the obvious – you hate what you do (if you do). Now is the time to start experimenting and find something that you would love to do instead. Or, if you already know – make that first step. Remember, your new career chapter doesn’t have to last for a lifetime – that would be too much pressure. Think of it as an adventure for the next five years.
To those who love what they do – congrats! Either you have already done that big scary step, or you’re just born bold, beautiful, and fearless.
Stop denying the obvious – you hate what you do (if you do).
You might have other denials in your life that you need to face. Whatever it may be, now is the time to start the most honest dialogue with yourself. After all, the one person that is being fooled is you.
